I’m experiencing a really big ‘shift’ right now. Can you feel it too?
A good shift but in everything I do and the way I live my entire life.
If you follow my blogs, you’ll have read about how this year has been tough. That’s an understatement actually — it’s been completely fucked. Gruelling. Heart-breaking. Trying. Nasty. And at times absolutely terrifying.
But I’m now coming out the other end and let me tell you…. I’m a whole lot richer for the experience.
How can we go through such turmoil and come out feeling so elated and grateful for the experience?
Everything in life is a choice.
You choose how to react to situations. Happy or sad. Angry or calm. Grateful or spiteful.
You choose whether to go on that date or not. Brush your hair. Do your teeth. Look at that person in that negative or positive way.
Everything is your choice, and yours alone.
Good, bad or indifferent — WE are the only one responsible for the choices we make.
It might be a hard pill to swallow but if you’re feeling completely beaten, conquered and bruised right now — for whatever reason — you must know and accept that wherever you are is because of actions you took and choices that you made.
Not because of your evil, narcissistic ex-business partner. Not your mother. Not you partner. Not your dirtbag client. Not even that kid that stole your lunch in grade three. Not anyone else.
Because of YOU.
And the funny thing is, that right now you’re probably sitting there (like I was) saying to me: “Bianca, that’s BS, I didn’t deserve this, how dare he/she? I can’t take anymore. I feel like giving up. What am I even doing this for?”
And that’s normal. I did that too.
All freaking year I did that!
But I’ve been doing a lot of inner work lately and I’m embracing this new knowledge with open arms. It really is transforming my life in so many ways and I just have to share it with you.
I’ve literally had the shittiest year of my entire life and I feel nothing but honest to God gratefulness for every square inch of crap.
I was watching a YouTube video the other night by Tony Robbins and he said something like “It’s how we react to situations that we can fine tune through choice. More often than not the situation at hand, as stressful as it may be, is never really as bad as we think — it’s about how we react to it that amplifies it beyond what we can handle”.
I found it to be profound. It really flicked a switch inside me.
And without even knowing it this week I put it into practice. I had yet ANOTHER blow this week and I chose not to react. I didn’t give it any headspace. I just accepted it for what it was, took the punch and moved on.
So join me as I step you through what I believe are 11 key areas that are sabotaging your business and your life — whether you know it or not.
And watch out for my special announcement at the end. 😉
Choose a healthy mindset.
The difference between those who are wildly successful and those that aren’t, I believe, is the way they think.
Do the inner work so you can deliver the outer work. Affirmations. Meditation. Visualisations. Journalling. EFT Tapping. Smash through limiting beliefs. Dig deep into your past and fix blocks holding you back. Create a Vision Board. Heck, create five, I am! Try Kinesiology (I did just last week and I’m so much lighter — and hooked!)
Put all your strategy ‘how to’ business stuff on hold for the moment and spend time working on your mindset because after all “What we think we create”. As entrepreneurs we dream big things but after years of slogging away, it gets to you. It drains you. It sucks the life out of you and before you know it you start thinking you should downsize our dreams, right?
Don’t let the negative Nellies get in your way. Don’t feel like you should ‘downsize’ your dreams. No way. Not on this watch. Anything and everything out there is yours for the picking. We’re just standing in our own way most of the time and too afraid to pick it.
So get out of your own way and spend a good chunk of your day working on your mindset. I guarantee you it will change your life — or at least your outlook on life.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” – Franklin D Roosevelt
This is so true. Our fears are holding us back from being the best versions of ourselves. From sharing our gift with the world. From just being us. We’re so damn worried what people are going to think.
“Are they going to think I’m stupid? I don’t know enough about web to be an expert. Why would they pay me $5,000 for that? I can’t justify that. What if they say ‘no’? etc etc”
We live in such fear for the most part of our life and it has to stop. It’s holding you back and deep down I think you know it. Who are you doing all this for anyway? Yeah, thought so. Everyone else but you.
If you could do anything in the world and you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do? Great. Now go do it.
I’ve just been through a horrible bout of this and it’s poison. My self-esteem being bruised and battered this year got the better of me and I had a few months there where I was constantly worried thinking “I don’t know if I can do this. I can’t pull this off. I’m not smart enough. I don’t know enough. I don’t have enough resources. I’m just a designer, how can I seriously do this??? It’s gonna fail.”
And thank fuck I just snapped out of it before wasting too much time and energy. Now I’m pumped as (because of my inner mindset work) and I know I can do anything I put my mind too.
You can too.
Refer to mindset for another self-doubt shot.
Did you see my webinar from last week on the perfect website pitch? If not, you should. In it we talked about confidence as being key for winning deals.
I honestly believe it is one the most important threads in our DNA to become successful in business… especially in SALES! And sales fix everything. Well, almost anyway.
So if you’re not confident in yourself. Your ability. You knowledge. Your product or anything else for that matter, work on it because it’s sabotaging your success in ways you’ll never know.
Which leads me to…
I’ve recently learnt that I’m punishing myself for stuff that happened in my past. Not all bad stuff either, just circumstances. Subconsciously. On a really deep level that I never even really thought about before.
I’m sabotaging my success, my income, weight loss, happiness, health, my entire life because on a really deep level I feel like I don’t deserve any of it. So I get close… and then I throw it all away by self-sabotaging — SUBCONSCIOUSLY! How crazy!?
I’m not saying that you’re doing the same but it certainly bears delving a little deeper into your headspace and investigating. You could be like me and not even realise it until you do some work on clearing bad behaviours to make way for all the good things in life that you truly do deserve.
Self-what? I know what you’re thinking. “I threw that out the window when I had kids, or when I started my business.” Ha! Yep, so did I! And guys, this goes for you too!
But I’ve made some really bad choices over my 11 years in business. I’ve always put work first before anything and I kind of regret that. I guess it’s all part and parcel and we need to learn these lessons and discover things in our own way, and maybe I wouldn’t have been able to get to where I am today had I not — but don’t leave it too late to take care of you.
You know what suits you best, where you feel free, and how to get away from it all, your happy place — just aim to go there on a daily basis, not once a year like I would.
Pwharfoa! Me and exercise used to fight with each other constantly. The battle of the wills I tell you. I always had an excuse. My bad knees. Work. Deadlines. I’m not a morning person. I hate the bald guy who always stares at me at the gym. I’m too busy. Blah blah
So I would feel like I had to smash myself to smithereens with back-to-back Insanity workouts — probably that whole punishment thing coming back, right? And then I would be scared of them because they were so hard and I’d be in so much pain (I could barely walk up the stairs) so I’d find myself not doing any exercise at all because I SHOULD have done 5 workouts and I only did one.
Geez, our minds are just evil on occasions, aren’t they?
Turns out, I had to learn to love myself and give myself permission to just do three workouts a week to truly succeed.
I’ve finally found something I love which is weights with just a little bit of cardio and the weight is falling off me. I go Monday, Wednesday & Friday and if I feel like it, I’ll do Insanity on the off days but I don’t beat myself up over it if I can only go three days.
I don’t even need to mention why exercise is so good for you and the benefits to your mental clarity and productivity in your business, right? You know all that shit.
The keyword here is…. ‘permission’. Remember that.
Don’t forget to spend time with your family. You may have it all together in this department and if so, I adore you. I’ve been on this crazy journey the last decade and I won’t say I’ve ever shafted my family but I certainly have let work rule my life and get in the way of family time.
I don’t call my Mum as often as I should. Or my sisters. Or my brother. And that’s something I’m working on. It may sound daft but I’m only still just figuring out that life isn’t about work. My work doesn’t define me. Life is about me. And my family. Simon. And a whole lot more but family is something you can’t replace.
So cherish every moment. Don’t race through bedtime stories with your kids. Slow down and savour the moment. Just take a step back and tell yourself “It’s just work and it’ll always be there, why did I really create my business? Oh that’s right, to have more free time.” So take it.
Same rules as above but for a slightly different dimension. I’ve neglected my friends big time. Sorry guys. I used to make excuses as to why I couldn’t go to events because I’d much rather spend time studying the new list building course I just bought. Yes, that’s ‘LOSER’ with a capital ‘L’.
If I was smart I would have realised that time with my friends would have provided me with inspiration, with a break from it all, a good laugh which we all need most days, and just time away. But instead I would lock myself away from the world like the introvert I am and think “When I just…… then I’ll spend more time with my friends”.
Like I said, I’ve learnt a lot this year. Don’t put off your friends or you may just wake up one day and they’re all gone.
What do you do to stay creative and inspired? Do you paint? Draw? Hike? Go to art galleries? Cook? Sew? Build? What is it you love doing that you haven’t done in ages? What did you love doing as a kid that you’d love to do again? What makes you happy?
Great. Now go do more of that.
I’ve just created a whole long list of 20+ things I’ve been putting off for ‘when I have time later’ and I’m going to do every single one of them in 2015 at least once. Twice if I still like it!
This is probably the biggest epiphany I’ve had in my business life…
Give yourself permission to do the things you love to do.
Stop living by these stupid rules that you have to work at least 12 hours a day. Or you can’t play with your kids just now. Or you can’t switch your phone off and relax because a client might call.
And ditch whatever other stupid rules you’ve created for yourself.
It only just dawned on me that I was the one that had made all these stupid fucking rules. And I was the one that told myself I had to live by. Knocking off 100 things a day off your To Do list or you’ve been unproductive. Never switching off because you feel GUILTY. Working like a dog because that’s what you have to do to be successful. Pffff the guilt. Oh the guilt. Let’s not even go there today, that’s another blog on its own.
Please, slap me now for putting such ridiculous rules on myself and failing to give myself permission to just be me. To go with the flow. Do what I love doing. Accept things as they are. Know there’s a better way. Know I don’t have to work like a slave. And stop and smell the roses along the way.
This is a big one for me and I dare say, for you too. Do some work on clearing it, because what awaits you on the other side is…
This is my word for 2015. And is a big part of the shift that’s happening right now.
Let me ask you… Why did you start your business in the first place?
But why are we all such slaves to our business?
Why do we seem to achieve the complete opposite when we dive into our entrepreneurial journey? Seems like an oxymoron doesn’t it but I bet you feel chained at times to this thing you created.
Is it a business or a job?
I feel at times like I’ve created this whopping beast and now I have to feed it all the time just to stay afloat. There’s no escape. I’m bound by a giant ball and chain weighing a million pounds on my chest. I can feel the weight of it all on my shoulders now just writing these words.
It’s the reason why I’ll be saying ‘goodbye’ to this blog soon.
And also the reason I’m not allowing any new trial users into my program.
But I’m not going too far, don’t worry.
I wouldn’t do that to you — we were just getting to know each other.
When these doors close I’ll be opening some bigger and way brighter ones for you under two new brands.
You see on my quest for happiness and fulfilment and discovering what it is I was called here to do, I realised that I’m chasing freedom, in its every form. And I was put here to help you do the same.
Freedom in business AND in life.
Freedom through positive thinking. Through strategy. Systems. Mindset. And lots more stuff I can’t wait to share with you.
Soon I’ll be announcing the launch of my new blog, The Freedom Hunter, and I hope you’ll join me. Let’s take a journey together to hunt down those dreams of yours, and bitch-slap them into reality.
It’s coming soon… will you join me?
What do you think? Share your comments below.